I'll be honest with you people. We've known each other long enough. I didn't pick out this drink because it's iconic, or because it's one of my favorites, or because it's got a really interesting history behind it, or any crap like that. I know next to nothing about Collins drinks and I can't remember ever having made one or ordered one. But I recently bought this fancy-pants Icelandic boutique vodka, and I wanted to drink some of it, but I didn't want to just take it straight because it's midnight and I'm alone and I've already had three really strong drinks in a row and it's taking me like twenty minutes to write these posts by this point because I'm misspelling every third word. So I had to mix it with something, and the only fresh fruit juice I have in the house is lemon juice. And it just so happens, cowboys and cowgirls, that lemon juice + sugar + vodka + soda = a vodka Collins. A vodka Collins just like this one.
I garnished it with what was left of my fresh lemon and a cherry. The cherry, for reasons far too complex to go into at the moment, was also lemon-flavored, making the whole thing altogether too citrus-intensive and also lending a somewhat surreal air to the entire proceedings, but what can I tell you? It was still a perfectly good little mixed drink -- maybe not the best nightcap in the world, but the soda water helps calm the stomach and overall it was very refreshing. And I may not be much on God or country, but goddamn it, I believe in refreshment.
The Recipe: 3 oz. vodka; 1 1/2 oz. lemon juice; 1 1/2 tsp. sugar. Combine with ice in a highball glass and stir; top off with soda water. Garnish with lemon wheel and cherry.